


In Tenzin's Study

by scrltvizh



Series: Linzin One-Shots [3]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, F/M, I hate Pemzin and even I think this is sad, Love Letters, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26350930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrltvizh/pseuds/scrltvizh
Summary: Pema and Ikki are cleaning rooms in the Air Temple when she comes across an old box with things of Lin's in it.
Relationships: Ikki & Tenzin, Lin Beifong/Tenzin, Pema & Ikki
Series: Linzin One-Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913737
Comments: 40
Kudos: 97





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Linzin Week 2.0 Prompt : Memories](https://archiveofourown.org/works/688715) by [Cassandra14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassandra14/pseuds/Cassandra14). 



> Set after the events of Book 4 LoK.
> 
> This fic is inspired by "Linzin Week 2.0 Prompt : Memories" by Cassandra14 (ao3) and "The Betrothal Necklace" by little_linbeifong (instagram). Both are way better than this so y'all should go check them out too : )

Pema coughed as she wiped dust off an old, thick photo album and placed it in the “keep” pile. After pulling all kinds of papers and junk out of Tenzin’s desk drawers and cabinets, his usually tidy study looked as if a hurricane had come through. That, or one of his newer students had been practicing making an air scooter.

She’d been keeping herself busy by cleaning every room in the Air Temple while Tenzin and Jinora were training the Airbenders. Ikki helped her go through the papers, and anything five years or older was thrown away. Pema knew everything in Tenzin’s study would take a long while to get through, so although he promised he’d get around to cleaning it himself, she decided to help him get started. This had been the most difficult challenge yet, and they’d only just begun. It was a wonder how many piles of papers and knick-knacks that man could stuff into a container, but he claimed there was a place for everything and he could tell you exactly where it was. But she found that hard to believe, with scrolls poking out of drawers and old novelties strewn about. 

“Hey, Mom, check this out!” Ikki gasped, running over to Pema with a beautifully handcrafted box in her hand. Instead of giving that to her, though, she handed her mother a dainty bracelet, so Pema was surprised at how heavy it felt in her palm. Old, but shiny, it was decorated with tiny green jade stones that were scattered throughout the silver. It shimmered stunningly in the sunlight that came in through the window as she held it up and inspected it. Pema had seen bracelets like those before, popular especially in the Earth Kingdom, where warriors would wear them on the streets. She’d always thought they were gorgeous, but had never seen one quite as pretty as this. “I found that in the box. Do you think Daddy would let me have it?”

“Don’t play with that, Ikki, it’s a weapon. They’re worn by… metal-benders,” she frowned as she realized who the bracelet must have belonged to. 

“Oh,” Ikki stated, and frowned as well. Then she lit up again, chin held high, and beamed, “I’m gonna go see if I can find something else pretty that I can have.” She dropped the box at her feet and skipped across the room to continue her search. 

Pema placed the bracelet neatly on the “toss” pile and picked up the box. The wood was painted green, with dark metal trimmings along the edges that curved to make a design. The wood had also been carved in places to make the same wispy pattern, which were all filled with bronze. If you looked closely at the spots where metal met wood, it was scratched and slightly faded. Everywhere else, though, Pema could almost see her reflection. She scrunched her nose when she thought about why it was so clean, but couldn’t stop herself from lifting the latch to open it. 

It was filled almost entirely with letters. The whole left side contained only bunches of envelopes, each section separated by a bow made of twine. The paper of the envelopes were old, some noticeably discolored, although age was the only factor of damage any had taken. In fact, Pema would have thought none of them had ever even been touched, had it not been for the thin tear at the top of each. He had taken good care of them. _Too_ good. She took hold of the first bunch in her hand and lifted them out of the box, one voice in her head telling her it was none of her business, the other trying to convince her it was completely her right. She couldn’t stop herself from choosing to listen to the latter. 

The twine came easily undone, and once the letters stood apart she realized they were all categorized by date. There must have been forty letters in that box, all from _her_ , after all this time. The first was dated in mid-March, about thirty-four years ago:

_Tenzin,_

_You’ve only been gone a couple of days and I miss you terribly. Stop smiling, you know I’d never say it to your face. You and Uncle Aang should have gotten to whichever Air Temple you’re headed to already. Hope you enjoyed the trip, but I know how much you love flying. Of course you enjoyed the trip._

_Mother is doing her absolute best to make my life Hell at the academy. I understand that no one can think she’s treating me specially because I’m her daughter, but sometimes I think she takes it overboard. Yesterday, she yelled at me in front of everyone during lunch because somehow she saw that one of my shoelaces had come undone._

_Anyways, make sure to remind Aang you need to fit some training into the middle of his busy schedule_ having fun _. We both know how he is._

_All my love, Lin._

She frowned, folded the letter back up in the envelope, and took out the next one.

_Dear Tenzin,_

_I’m glad you enjoyed my anecdote. I certainly didn’t. She treats me horribly here, but at least I’m away from Suyin for the next few months. Don’t even_ try _to call me ridiculous for that. You know how irritating she can be._

_I’m sure you’re enjoying time away from your siblings, too, with Kya busy_ entertaining _Izumi at your home, and Bumi off on one of his adventures._

_I wish I could visit you. Or that you could visit me. That we could have a day together, just the two of us. I can hardly remember the last time we got one of those._

_Lin._

She folded the letter back into the envelope, threw it aside, and skipped a couple before settling on the only one that had slight foxing around the edges. 

_Dearest Tenzin,_

_I dream about you, too. I do. And I think about you at night. I try to pretend you’re in bed next to me, and sometimes it’s the only way I can sleep soundly, with all the stress the Chief puts me through in here._

_The only way I can really unwind is to close my eyes and pretend my fingers are your fingers, but I could never make it as satisfying as you can. If I can’t sleep late at night, I take off all my clothes and_

Pema looked up from the letter subconsciously, making sure Ikki was well distracted and far away before continuing. 

_touch myself, imagining you’re touching me instead. If I concentrate hard enough I can pretend that I’m breathing in your scent._

_I just want you to come home. I just want you. As soon as you’re back, we could lock ourselves in my room, and I’ll run my tongue over_ all _those tattoos. I’d ride you the way I know you love, while you grip my ass and run your hands up and down my body until we’re both shaking and drenched._

_You’re such an inconvenience to me here. These past couple days, if I even think of your name, I’m wet. Tenzin._

_Lin. (Are you hard?)_

Pema shoved the letter back into its envelope, seething, nose scrunched up in jealousy. He’d read _that_ one more than once, that was for sure. 

She gathered that first bunch of letters that she had untied, not bothering to make sure they were as neat as they were when he’d put them away, or even in the correct order. They were stuffed back inside the box sloppily, then she picked up something on the other, more-empty side that had caught her eye when she first opened it. It was a hunk of metal, small but heavy, shaped like a heart. She could almost feel how many times he held it in the energy it radiated. 

Pema felt a wave of rage coming on, and had to force herself to place it back nicely instead of doing what she really wanted with it: to throw it across the room and let out the scream that had been bubbling up inside her while she read Beifong’s last letter. She sighed and closed her eyes, and when she opened them, she discovered something she must’ve missed before. 

At the bottom of the right side of the box, under the heart, was a letter that lay flat-down. This one had never been opened, and when she picked it up and turned it over, she discovered it had never been sent, either. It was addressed to Lin. 

She tore it open hastily and checked the date. Early September, about seventeen years ago. This was barely a year before he broke up with her. 

_My love,_

Pema choked back a sob as she read the letter, one hand clenching it tightly, the other balled into a fist. Ikki was still going through his things when she finished. She sniffed quietly, making sure her daughter hadn’t been watching.

There was one last envelope at the bottom of the box, but it wasn’t like the others. It was thicker, and bigger, and had never been closed. It wasn’t addressed to anyone. Inside, she pulled out papers that had been sketched on, most featuring Lin. They were good, too. She had no idea he could even draw. There was one of her sitting on a park bench, eating a sandwich in her uniform. He’d been sitting next to her while he drew it. The next was of her in a dark city landscape, swinging across buildings at night. That one had been done in ink. There was one that looked like it was drawn in the Southern Water Tribe. She recognized the sunset. 

The next was another of Lin. It looked like it was drawn in an apartment, _her_ apartment, with an open window on the left. He drew it sitting on a chair at the foot of her bed, where she lay naked except for the blanket half-wrapped around her. She was sleeping peacefully, face and body relaxed, and she looked almost perfect except for the bruises he’d chosen to include in the drawing. There was one on her right shoulder, the beginning of one peeking under the blanket on her side, and a nasty one on her right shin, along with all the others that weren’t visible because of the way she was laying. 

Her breasts peeked out from under the sheets that wrapped around her side and then between her legs, as if she’d gotten hot in the night and had pulled some off of her so she was only half-covered. Her right hand reached out to the pillow next to hers, her right knee stretched to touch Tenzin’s side of the bed. 

She looked beautiful, Pema couldn’t help but think, and became furious that Tenzin had dared to keep something like this. “Ikki,” she said, her mouth a thin line, expression hard. The box snapped shut. “Time to go.” 


	2. Part Two

After Pema had been reading in bed for nearly forty-five minutes, Tenzin finally appeared in the doorway. “How was your day, dear?” he asked, like he did every night. He sat down on the edge of their bed to take off his shoes. 

When she didn’t answer, he turned around to find her eyes trained on her book. “Pema?” She finished the end of the page, then finally looked at him after placing the novel on the bedside table. There was no smile. No trace of affection in her eyes. Tenzin quickly realized he was in deep shit, but asked anyway. “You’re angry?” He did everything he could to remember anything at all he did today that could have irritated her, but came up short. 

She didn’t answer. Instead, she stood up and walked across the room, opened one of their dresser drawers, and retrieved the box. When she turned around, she could’ve sworn she saw him curse under his breath, but could never say for sure. He did visibly gulp, though. 

The room was silent for a couple of seconds before Tenzin stood and walked over to the door, grabbed the handle, and shut it lightly. “Where did you find that?” he asked casually. 

“I didn’t,” she rebutted. “Your daughter did.” She threw the box on the bed, its contents spilling out. She reminded herself of the promise she made earlier, to do her best not to get angry and to handle this situation as peacefully as possible. But she quickly forgot all of that at the sight of her ugly bracelet and stupid-ass rock. “You’re lucky Ikki saw the jewelry and stopped,” she snapped. “I don’t know how I would’ve been able to explain to her those _letters_. Those _drawings_.” She could feel her face heating up, but couldn’t find the strength to stop. 

“Pema--” 

“I mean, you never even told me you could draw,” She interjected. “That must be where Meelo gets it from. You knew, but you said nothing. Why did you say _nothing_?” She breathed heavily, talking as fast as she could think. 

“But this isn’t about the drawings, so why are we talking about the stupid drawings?” He mumbled, rubbing his temples. 

“You’re right, Tenzin. It’s not. It’s about why this _shit_ is in my house right now,” she spat. 

He scoffed. “Well, where else was I supposed to put it? You want me to keep it in my office at work, where anyone could sneak in and find it?”

She laughed cruelly, a sound he didn’t know she could make. He was close to terrified at this point, and so confused as to why he was defending decades-old pieces of junk, that he didn’t notice as she started picking through the letters on the bed. When she found the one she was looking for, she handed it to him, a tear streaming down her red cheek. 

He took one look at the envelope in his hand and his expression changed in an instant. He ran his finger along the top of it where the flap had been ripped open aggressively. Tenzin stared at her pleadingly, shook his head, and whispered “I’m sorry.” 

“Read it to me, Tenzin,” she asked softly and sadly, rubbing her arms as if she were cold. 

He sighed and reached for her, but she backed away. “I don’t understand what you want me to do, Pema. Please, anything. Do you want me to throw them away?” 

She shook her head. “No. I want you to burn them. Eventually. But for now,” she pointed at the envelope and looked into his eyes, “I want to hear you read that out loud.” 

He closed his eyes as she sat on the edge of the bed, waiting. He leaned down and placed a hand on her knee. “This letter was written years ago, darling. Whatever it says, nothing in it will pertain to our lives now. It’s just not relevant. It’s not important.”

She caressed his cheek. “Then why did you keep it? Why did you keep any of it?” 

“I don’t know, because they’re memories,” he sighed, hanging his head.

She was silent, so he looked up. “If it means nothing, dear, then you should have no problem saying it.” 

He looked into her eyes for a moment, but they wouldn’t give. He got up, walked a couple steps to the rocking chair, and took a seat. Then he began, doing his best to keep his voice as flat as possible: 

“ _My love,_

_I know things have been strange between us lately. I’m sure you’ve noticed, like me, no matter how busy we may be. Nor how busy we may pretend to be, to avoid talking about this. But it’s something we must discuss, and I’ve found that writing it to you is easier than saying it to you. Maybe you’ll discover the same, when you try writing back._

_It’s clear that we’ve both been drifting in seperate directions for a while now, but I've been thinking about our relationship a lot. I’ve been thinking about_ you _a lot. In fact, I find it difficult to think about much else. You’re on my mind constantly, so much so that I fear the Air Acolytes will start to notice soon how much I’ve been daydreaming._

_What I’m trying to say is, we need to come to a decision about our future. I’ve made mine, and you know where I stand. I’d gladly spend the rest of my life with you, but it’s my duty to have children. I know you don’t like the idea, but if we’re going to do this, we need to do it now, Lin._

_When Dad died, a lot of things became very clear to me, and how I feel about you has been one of them. He said something to me once that I’ll never forget: that our hearts are given to us only once, and that most people don’t ever get the chance to love as deeply as we truly have the potential to. In fact, most people never even know how much potential their hearts really possess, perhaps not until after all their love has been wasted on interactions that turn out to be meaningless. And what I realized while remembering what he said to me, (I believe it was that night he walked in on us and screamed while half the family stood around in the living room) is that not a moment I’ve spent with you has ever been meaningless._

_And not a moment I’ll_ ever _spend with you will mean nothing to me. And I realized, while remembering, that the heart that has been given to me in this life belongs to you, and it always will._

_I love you, Lin Beifong, with everything it has to offer._

_Forever yours, Tenzin._

  
  


He looked at Pema expectantly. “Okay. I read it.” He hoped, in vain, that she hadn’t noticed that his hand had been shaking the whole time. 

“Good. You can sleep in the boy’s dorms tonight. And get her things off my bed and out of my house. I never want to see them again in my life.” 

He was almost done gathering everything back into the box when she spoke again. “And Tenzin?”

“Yes?”

“Why was that letter never sent?”

“Because she came home.”

“And you realize what the date was when you wrote that?” 

“Yes.”

“So you understand why I’m upset?”

“A year is a long time to change the way you feel about someone.” 

“Not if you’d been with them for twenty-six.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally stole that line "our hearts are given to us only once" from a book/movie called "Call Me By Your Name," by Andre Aciman. It's probably my favorite book I've ever read, and he explains it way better than I ever could.
> 
> Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this angsty piece of shit. I can't stop writing these two, so expect another crap idea in, like, the next few hours.

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys have any ideas about CANON COMPLIANT one-shots for these two, please let me know in the comments section or DM me on instagram. I have a couple more up my sleeve but they'll run out soon and I really enjoy writing about them. Thanks so much for reading, hope you enjoyed :D


End file.
